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Johnny Depp
We've been getting a lot of e-mail about Johnny Depp. I don't get it, am I missing something?

Raul thinks it has something to do with Edward Scissorhands, because last week we seized a Turkish ship full of scissors. I guess that makes sense, but it seems like a real stretch.

I'm not too worried about it now, we've got other things on our minds this afternoon. My cousin tells me Amazon has removed the sales rankings from all books about Somali pirates. Major #amazonfail.

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Johnny Depp

Uh, he played Captain Jack Sparrow in those Pirates of the Caribean movies.

Johnny Depp also played J. M. Barrie in Finding Neverland, who was the writer of Peter Pan. Peter Pan, as you know, is an enemy of pirates.

So Johnny Depp, by default, is... AN ENEMY OF PIRATES! OHNOES!

Does this mean he's a ninja?

Johnny Depp ain't a real pirat

Hey ther y'all. I is in louisie-anna and a-spire to be one of y'all. Is ther a coraspawndance course I can take like I did fer my ged?

Thank you

Billy Bob

Re: Johnny Depp ain't a real pirat

No, there isn't. But we do recommend this book:

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